Teenage comes with lots of conflicting thoughts and feelings which make teens go all rebellious and drifted away, especially from the parents. They feel this social pressure upon them from their surroundings that results in their unusual behaviors. At the same time, parents are exhausted and conflicted too. They don’t seem to understand what exactly is happening with their kids.
During this period, teens and parents often fall into this scenario where they fail to understand each other. It frightens the parents that their teens are not sharing their problems and fun things with them. Most of the parents move towards parental control options to get hold of the situation. Where using a software can help much in checking up on the situation, other things need to be considered and solved.
Problems That Arise in The Teen Years
Let’s look into some of the problems that are originated when the kids enter the teenage. Most parents are not ready for this period so they don’t know what is bothering their kid now. Let’s see what bothers them:
Control and Independence
Kids tend to seek more freedom as they enter this period. Most of the times they rely on the people outside for their dressing, music, and other senses. They follow the groups they think highly of. In search of this freedom, they end up fighting with their parents when they impose their wishes on them. No doubt that parents wish the best for their kids, but teens don’t like to have their decisions made for them.
Lots of Expectations
Admit it or not, we all know that parents put a lot of expectations on their teens. They want them to behave in a certain accepted way, dress modestly, speak nicely, have good academic performances, and much more. There is no problem in teaching these things, but we expect more than we have ever taught. Teens feel pressurized this way. They feel that their parents don’t understand them; instead, they just want them to behave like robots.
Experimenting with Everything
Teens want to experiment with new things that amaze them, especially drugs and sex. Usually, parents don’t talk about them before, but only after these things have started. That creates a conflict among teens and parents. And, teens at this stage start to think that their parents are against anything they do on their own. So, most probably, they start hiding things from their parents that result in more damage.
Inner Struggles
Parents don’t think that their teens are suffering through any struggle. All the society, including them think that teens are having the best time of their lives which is not true. Like you have faced struggles in your teenage, they are facing those issues too.
Teens struggle with identity and role confusion according to a developmental psychologist Erik Erickson. Teens are constantly struggling through the conflict of who they are and who they should be. This is one of the many reasons why teens move towards gangs and wrong groups.
Know more about the issues kids face during teenage here.
Tips for A Healthy Parent-Teen Relationship
Parents seem confused about how to handle teens these days. If they take a few steps the right way, they can achieve the harmony they seek. After all, in this relationship, parents are most experienced and wise, so they should do things to make this all better. Here are a few tips for parents to induce a healthy parent-teen relationship:
Accept The Changes and Be Calm
Teens themselves are experiencing so many changes, so you better not get panic more than them. They are kids, and they are already panicking about every little change happening to them. They seek comfort in you.
Sometimes teens make mistakes, but parents don’t respond rationally to that. If you think your response will make the situation worse, take a break and come back to them with a better attitude. Give them solution to their problems instead of lashing out on them because of the issue.
Using Parental Control App
Although it feels more like restriction than protection, having good relationships with teens can make this easy for you. First and foremost, you should have a healthy relationship with them so that they understand that you do things to protect them. Monitor their social media activities with the help of a parental control app and know their issues more closely. This way, you will be able to understand them better.
Listen More and Advise Less
Parents who advise more and listen less often end up with their teens drifted away from them. You need to be the “safe” and “go-to” person for your teens. If you want to achieve that position, be open to them and let them share everything with you. Don’t interrupt them while they are talking and save your advice for later conversations.
Appreciate Them for Doing Good Things
Teens need to feel confident. Even if they are not doubting themselves, their peers and society are there to fill in the negativity. Don’t play your role in that negativity. Actively look for the things your kids are doing good, appreciate them at the moment and encourage them for more such deeds. Focus on their good sides more than their faults. It will let them be more competent and confident.
Their Privacy Should Be Respected
It is very challenging for parents to grant their teens the privacy and autonomy they are asking for. But if you want them to grow and trust you, you ought to have them a little bit of freedom. They deserve that and they need to feel independent so that they can make their decisions in a better way. Encourage them to learn more and ask you whenever they want help.
Here are some more tips for a healthy parent-teen relationship in an article published at HuffPost. Use these tips and know them more closely. Healthy communication and understanding is the key to a better relationship. Once you have established that relationship, you will be able to protect your kid in every way possible.
